A Torrent of Abuse

“The problem’s in your intranet”, he said to me
“And breaking in is easy if you read the RFC
I’d like to help your data in its yearning to be free
There must be 50 ways to hack your password”

He said “it’s really not my habit to intrude,
But keeping passwords to yourself is really rather rude
And all your data is belong to us, ‘cause, dude,
There must be 50 ways to hack your password.”

Just slip out the hack, Jack
Send off a phish, Trish
Guess at a PIN, Jim
Just take it from me.
Hook into the bus, Gus
You don’t need to fuss much
Just parse the key, Lee
And let yourself in.

He said, “it makes me laugh to see you so confused
And the obviousness of passwords that you have re-used
Facebook, LinkedIn, eBay, there’s nowhere I’ve been refused,
There must be 50 sites with that same password.”

He said “I’ve just posted all your passwords to the net,
In protest at the outing of some kidz you never met
And it’s your fault if you find your bank account has nothing left
‘Cause there were lots of ways to hack your password.

Make it too short, Mort
Name it after your pet, Chet
Use your address, Tess,
Or your account name.
Just use “password”, Bert
You can even use QWERT(YUIOP), Gert
Don’t use the shift key, Dee
Make it easy for me.

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